Saturday, May 28, 2011

Re-entry and Reverse Culture Shock.

We are about ten days away from our first trip back to the US since we left for China about two years ago.  I've been reading a lot about re-entry and reverse culture shock.  It won't be the first time for Paul and I.  We lived in Germany for a few years in the late 1980's, while he served with the US military.  The world was much bigger then!  No e-mail, long distance phone calls were complicated and expensive, no internet.  When we came back to the US, we discovered that people were now using bank cards to pay for things.  We had never heard of this before but we had opened up a savings account and had a bank card for it.  We asked at the grocery store if we could use it and they assured us we could.  But we discovered we couldn't, as it was a savings account.  So we left our groceries (in Davis, CA) and drove all the way to Sacramento (where there was a branch of the bank where we had our account), drove back to Davis and paid for our groceries in cash. Embarrassing!

Now the world is smaller in many ways.  We have almost constant communication with people from all over the world.  We can watch some American TV on Hulu.  We blog to keep people up-to-date on our lives.  We live in a large city in China- about 8 million people.  We can find a reasonable facsimile of almost anything we want here.  We've all heard the about the ex-pat returning to the US, only to find himself standing in the cereal/cheese/potato chip aisle at the local grocery store stunned and overwhelmed by the choices.  Or the person who goes into Starbucks to buy a coffee and thinks "This would be one days wages in XXX country."  I've heard those things enough that I don't want to be that person.  Plus, Starbucks costs about the same in China.

I also don't want to be the person that judges America based on our experience in China.  I've worked with enough refugees and immigrants to know that people really want to come to the US and live there.  It's the land of the second chance.  Faulty, for sure and not above criticism.  But I don't want to be a snotty ex-pat.

We have read and heard about a couple of things that I do believe to be true.  One is that people are less interested in you and your experiences than you might think!  A friend who lived in Austria in the time of snail mail and crackly long distance phone calls told me that she was surprised at who kept up with her and who didn't.  People she wasn't sure she would recognize supported them and their work there and people who were their closest friends didn't.  We have found that to be true since we've been here.  We've been disappointed as several friends have come to China and not contacted us.  All were busy and had legitimate reasons but we would have loved to have known they were coming.  On the flip side, we get amazing e-mail and messages from many friends far and near and have many friends that have kept in great contact with us.

For our daughter, this is a reality that is particularly true.  We left our small college town in the MidWest when she had just finished ninth grade.  She has now finished two years at a small, international high school.  It's not always been easy for her.  She has done service trips to the Philippines and Yunnan.  She has seen poverty and orphans and some hard realities.  She has changed.  She has high hopes to spend time with her friends.  Of course, their lives have changed also.  They are busy with jobs and school and relationships.  We hope she won't be disappointed.

Our two years here (so far) have changed us in deep ways.  Some of our experiences have been exotic and interesting.  Some have been hard.  We are looking forward to reconnecting with friends and family this summer.  However, I am also looking forward to just relaxing, going to the library, renting a movie at Redbox,   drinking coffee with friends and reading People magazine (if I even know who the people are!).  We have an intense nine week schedule.  Sadly, Paul will not be with us for seven of the nine weeks!  We'll be apart at at the beginning, together for two and then apart for about another month.  His work schedule is different than Elisabeth's school schedule and that is the reality of our life right now.  We won't be able to see everyone but we hope to be able to see as many as possible.

See many of you in a few weeks!



Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Rick Warren comes to China



So our little guy got new clothes.  When we saw this outfit, we immediately thought of Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life    and lover of the Hawaiian shirt.



See what we mean?


So we got out our copy of The Purpose Driven Life.


The Chinese Rick Warren studied it intently.


But preferred his picture book.


Oh, how we believe this little guy has a loving Father who has His hand on his life and a purpose for him.



Sunday, May 22, 2011

More bullet points


* This little guy has very high hopes for his relationship with the cat.  The other day, our little guy offered him a toy to play with.  However, the cat thinks that our little guy is a plaything...and watches him for wiggling toes and fingers.  Keeps us on our toes.

* Elisabeth just got back from the high school Spring trip to Inner Mongolia.  They spent the time at Shamineau East.  We have been there as a family twice and the camp has a very special place in our heart.  We are glad she got to go there again.

*  I am trying to teach our little guy to sleep later than 5 AM.  Any suggestions?  

*  We arrive in the US June 6.  The first place I am going to drive after not driving for two years....the LA freeways!

*  We are looking for a car to use in the STL area from June 29 - July 3/4.  E-mail me if you have one.

*  Airlines tickets are expensive!!  We used to be able to do the St. Louis - San Jose flight for about $250.00.  Now ...well, not for $250!  Car rentals, gas...oh my!

*The other day I was walking home from a meeting.  I was on a busy street and saw the police pulling a few cars over.  I think there had been a minor accident.  A guy selling pirated cd's  went riding by on his bicycle cart  and stopped to look at the situation.  No fear of arrest or trouble.  Different cultural understanding of the law.

* We can buy mango bingsha (ice sand) here for about 50 cents.  They are fantastic.  

*  The amazing thing about finding high school and college friends on Facebook is that they are middle aged.  How did that happen?

Monday, May 16, 2011

Some more of the foster babies.



This is the newest of the little foster babies.  Yay to the orphanage for calling our foster care organization and asking for a foster family.  Right now her medical needs are high- feeding issues and a seizure disorder.  Right now she is staying with one of the doctors who works with the orphan clinic.  She needs a more permanent foster family and we are hoping that a Chinese family will be willing to take care of her.  The woman holding her is one of the other doctors who works with the foster care program.  She is a hero to me because she is the doctor who found our little guy and got him into foster care.

Every few months, we have to take our little orphans to the clinic for an exam.  This is fun but lengthy  visit.and it's more fun to go with a friend.  We went with one of the other fostering families.  This little guy sitting next to our little guy is almost paper ready to go.  He just needs a family willing to accept some of his special needs.  He is another one that has come a long, long way through the loving care of a family.


Our little guy showing us that he can flex!



We asked our  Chinese friend who is going to take care of our little guy over the summer to come to the exam.  We wanted her to know where to take him if he got sick and to talk to the doctor about Down Syndrome.  Down Syndrome is not a well known syndrome here and we wanted to her to have a greater understanding of where he was developmentally.


I think he will be well loved by this sweet sister.  And yes, he is teething like crazy!


Waiting, waiting.  This hospital is a training facility.  First you get asked questions by a resident.  This tends to be in Chinese and English.  Then the resident examines the baby.  Then the doctor comes in and asks questions and then examines the baby.  It's very thorough and well done and we are so thankful for such good care for our little guys.


The wonderful doctor Nancy getting her hair pulled while examining our little guy. Nancy was our doctor when our little guy was in the hospital last October and she really fought for him.  She is currently the foster mom for the little girl in the pictures above.  Yes-these doctors are amazing.
 In the background you can see the other foster mom and her little guy answering developmental questions.  You can not see the Chinese resident asking the questions but you can kind of see the visiting American medical student who is there observing.  A few minutes later, the Chinese doctor who was helped get our little guy into foster care and fought for him in the hospital came in to take a look.  Then more people came into admire these two little guys.  It was a great party.

One other little guy in our foster care program was adopted this week.  But so few of them actually are.  There are times when the reality of these children really hits me and it's a heart ripping feeling.  They are all special needs in one way or another and we hope for long term families for them.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

New Clothes and other matters

We've been really blessed with the amount of clothing for our little guy that has been passed on to us.  One very generous friend just mailed us a box of darling new and gently used clothes for our little guy.  He is now quite fashionable!  Thank you, Maggi!


Summer pajama's with a frog theme.


Osh Kosh B' Gosh!  Adorable


Baseball onesie.



Not new clothes but a sweet sleep picture.  We find him in almost every position now.



Speaking of new clothes...we were sitting at an outdoor cafe in Thailand when I saw this dress hanging on a rack outside a small store.  I told Elisabeth to go and look at it and she looked, liked and tried it on.  It was on sale and a bargain.  Here she is all dressed up for the high school Spring Banquet.



Cute hair and pearls.

And...to top off this post...The Toilet Restaurant.  Elisabeth's mentor teacher took Elisabeth and the other student in her mentoring group out for lunch here.  I have no words so I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves.  








Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Bullet Points

I was inspired by my friend Gillian who blogs over here to do a bullet point kind of post.
My mind is full of details and my concentration is nill.  I am not having deep thoughts about much.  I mostly think about this summer, google calendar and trying to see as many people as possible before we return to China.

So in no special order.

1.  This summer we will be in California, Oregon, Washington,Minnesota, Missouri, Illinois and Canada.  More places will probably be added.
2.  We will fly into LA and visit Azusa Pacific College and then fly to San Jose about a day later.  I'm not sure that a college visit the day after you fly in to a country is the best idea but it was the only way to fit it in.
3.  In late June, we will fly to the Pacific Northwest and look at Seattle Pacific and Trinty Western.  In late July, we will be near Portland looking at George Fox.  There might be a Wheaton trip somewhere in July.
4.  We are looking forward to driving, Trader Joe's, new clothes, the ocean, closets and toilets that flush the first time.
5.  The sweet baby will stay with a Chinese friend for the summer.  We will miss him every day.
6.  Paul will be in China for the first seven weeks of our trip.  He will join us in July for a few weeks and then stay in the US for a while when Elisabeth and I go back to China.  
7.  We were thrilled to find lower priced tickets on Korean Air.  They are the best.
8.  Elisabeth took her AP history test last week and is at school right now taking AP English.  She has the SAT's on Saturday, June 5.
9.  The high school choir had their concert last week.  It was lovely.


Talking to one of the teachers.


Proud dad.

10.  Our little guy is teething like crazy.  Tylenol is our best friend.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Mad Skilz!

Aside from a sweet personality and almost perpetual great attitude, our little guy is getting some great skills.
His sitting has improved dramatically-he rarely falls over.   He spends quite a bit of time looking at his cards.


He can transfer objects from one hand to the other.


Right!


Hand off!


Left!  And then repeat.


He is starting to bear weight on his legs.


Look, Mom!  No support but the pillow!


Isn't his round head cute?