Bad Blogger update.

Life hasn't been very dramatic or unusual lately so I haven't had much to blog about.  Plus our internet has been sketchy and uploading pictures has been slooooow.
So a few things that have been happening.

I am in a book club where we read classic literature.  We met a few weeks ago to discuss our latest books (Love in the Time of Cholera and The Movie Goer).  None of us were all that enthusiastic about either of them but the little guy thought they were cool.

Our next book is Anthony Trollope's The Way We Live Now.  I started it last week and so far am really liking it.  However, I keep envisioning the Downton Abbey characters in my head as I read.  It's about the same time period and some of the same issues.

I was recently in a city a few hours from us.  While walking down the street, I was greeted by this  little guy.

Being a dog in China is a pretty good gig.

I saw this on the wall of a Chinese school.

Character is higher than intellect.  I love this, especially in this land that worships the mind.

So what is up with us in the next few months?

Well, thanks to the generosity of a gift given to us last summer and some Christmas gifts, Elisabeth and I are heading to Korea on Tuesday for Spring Break.  I hope to meet up with some old students and Elisabeth hopes to meet some friends from the international school.  We will mostly be in Seoul and want to see all the sights.  Korea is about an hour from us by air and we are so excited to finally see it.  Sadly, Paul can not go with us because of his work.  China is not on Spring Break!

We are in the process of trying to envision what our life will be like in the future.  Elisabeth will go off to college....sad and wonderful at the same time.  Despite our efforts to have our foster son declared adoptable, it seems that his life will be in China.  We do not believe that international adoption is the only answer for orphan issues.   A loving Chinese family can provide a secure environment for him also.  We are heartbroken to have to give him up but we think that it is in his best interest to bond with a long term Chinese family.  We have no guarantee that he will ever be declared adoptable even though we strongly believe that he is a great candidate for adoption.  Therefore, we do not think that staying with us longer is best for him.  It would be cruel to be with us or several years, only to have us return to the US and have to give him up at a later age.  

So please pray for and with us as we search for the right family for him.  We weep every day at the thought o of not having him but we want what is best for him.  It's a hard reality.

What have we learned?

Sitting in a pile of laundry.

We have had our little guy for a year and 8 months now.  We "forget" that he has Down Syndrome.  We don't see the physical differences and the cognitive delays.  He is just our little guy to us....

But this morning, I found myself googling "Discipline and Down Syndrome."  He is two...oh so very two.  But also so very 15 months...and 18 months.  His development is all over the place.  

So he grabs our hair and we tell him no....and show him how to touch hair gently.  He laughs and pulls again.

He doesn't want the food we give him, so he spits it out and throws it on the ground.

We need to be aware that he has Down Syndrome...not that he is Down Syndrome!  He is more like us than different.  But the way he learns and processes is different than a typical child.

We have learned a lot...but still have far to go.

Ordinary Life in an extraordinary place.

On most days, our lives are very ordinary.  We get up, we eat breakfast, we go to various schools and jobs.

Well, some of us do.  Others get to stay home and read books in bed.

Or love on his stuffed lion.  The other morning I woke up to the sound of him singing and rocking one of his stuffed bears.  It was such a sweet and tender moment.

Practicing walking behind his new walking toy.

Our friend gave our little guy these vocabulary cards.  Some are wonderfully Chinese in flavor.

Some...let's just say that we aren't sure these are necessary for his vocabulary development.

Traditional shape of a Chinese snowman.

We finally got some real snow....in March!

I've been knitting this beautiful bamboo silk shawl.  Ironically, the yarn was made in China but I bought it in the US.  However, I am going to rip it out and start again.  I made a mistake in the texture pattern across the top and the longer the shawl gets, the more it bugs me.  Oh, knitting.  Hours of knitting, minutes of ripping.

Socks that are almost done. Note to self..even when your gauge is correct, it may be wise to go down a size when you make socks.

A friend of mine gave me tons of scrap yarn.  So I got out big needles and just knit in seed stitch until  each color until it was gone.  I had the green for another project.  It still needs an attached i-cord edge but it's a nice little lap blanket for Elisabeth.

Every Friday, the middle schoolers have help teams, where they do project for the school or community.  I formed a knitting team to do charity knitting for the community.  I taught 14 middle school students how to knit!  Right now, they are knitting squares that will be stitched together to make a blanket for a local foster family. This picture is about half the group knitting. It is school policy not to show faces of students on the internet.

The squares so far.  They will be stitched into a blanket.

I went shopping on my way home from work and got all of this for about $10.00.

As I was washing the lettuce, I noticed this on the dish soap.

Click on the picture...it's kumquat scent!  With oranges on the container.  Totally cracked me up.

She is the real deal.

This year Elisabeth and two friends are organizing World Vision's 30 Hour Famine.  After spending one summer in the high mountains of Yunnan, building roads by hand and helping in villages.....after going to the Phillipines twice to work in an orphanage and now returning this summer to work with teen girls...after laying down her rights to let our little guy live in our home...I'd say her heart is for the poor and disenfranchised.  We are proud of her.
If you'd like to help her raise money to feed two children for a year, click on the link below or copy and paste. Links are also on our Facebook pages if you know us that way. We appreciate it.  World Vision is a reputable organization that we trust.
http://support.worldvision.org/site/TR?px=1157144&fr_id=1610&pg=personal

Update on the Sweet Baby.

He really isn't a baby anymore.  But in some ways he is.  He is that wonderful mix of little boy and baby.

He like to hang out with his Baba.

There is lots of pulling up practice these days!

The cat is always good to play with!

He is very enthusiatic about having guest over because, hello!  Potential playmates!

Books are still one of his favorite things.

New fascination with cars and trucks.

We still love our little guy and delight in him.  But taking care of a special needs little guy can be exhausting on many levels.  His future is still uncertain.  Please keep him in your prayers.







Live the questions

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart

and try to love the questions themselves ...

Don't search for the answers,

which could not be given to you now,

because you would not be able to live them.

And the point is, to live everything.

Live the questions now.

Perhaps then, someday far in the future,

you will gradually, without even noticing it,

live your way into the answer.

Rainier Maria Rilke

We are in a new place in life, my darling daughter. We are at the beginning of endings and the endings of beginnings. Most importantly, we are at beginning of beginnings. Your life is open before you as you finish up your last semester of high school and go off to college. It’s a wonderful and amazing time.

You are in Beijing this weekend, at a seminar for TCK’s (third culture kids). We’ve raised you in an environment that celebrated and embraced other cultures. We wanted you to see the intrinsic value of human beings, made in the image of God. I was raised that way and I married your father who also believed that way. I couldn’t have married anyone who didn’t share that value.

So this weekend, you are talking with other high school Seniors from around China about adapting back to your home culture. I don’t know the specifics but I would imagine that you are discussing practical and more theoretical issues. What happens when you say to someone something like “One time when we were in Beijing…..” or “In Thailand we saw….” and they think you are a snob or pretentious? What happens when you feel out-of- date music or movies? What happens when people can’t relate to you and you feel like an outsider. The internet has changed quite a bit of that but there is still a gap.

The life we have led has been hard for you sometimes. We have moved quite a bit. We haven’t had much money. You have seen your father verbally beaten up by people he has invested in. You have seen him take much criticism. You have often felt that our priority was the work we did, instead of you. You have struggled in deep and personal ways. We hope and pray that those are things you can process well and that you would grow strong in all the broken places.

You are stubborn, my darling girl and strong-willed. You get that from your mother and your father. However, I often feel as though you mirror me in good ways and bad. When you were very young, I read a book that said that strong-willed children don’t need to be broken. Their strong will needs to be redeemed and used for Kingdom purposes. I see that in you and I am glad we didn’t try to “break your will.” Because your will would have won.

We moved to China when you were fifteen, after many years of working in international environments in the US. We knew we were taking a risk. Moving teenagers is a risky business. But you have blossomed and grown here. Your heart has enlarged in amazing way. Your faith has deepened and grown and become truly your own.

You have grown in practical ways here. You have an unusual skill set- getting through customs, hailing a taxi, tackling the subways of Beijing, using a squatty potty. Your favorite foods are Korean, thanks to the influence of Korean classmates. You have an independence that is admirable and courage to try new things. You have seen incredible things here- the Hong Kong Harbor on New Year’s Eve, the Forbidden City, the mountains of Yunnan, Mongolian herders. You have slept in a yurt. You have gone to school with students from many countries and have grown from both the good and bad experiences that has brought you. You have seen China, Hong Kong, Thailand and the Philippines. You have been blessed.

But living here has also brought the hard questions – the questions that have no answers. You have seen poverty and injustice in the Philippines as you volunteered there. You have learned the reality of Psalm 68:6 that God places the lonely in families. You have been amazing as you let a lonely little boy into our family and given up some of your rights and privileges.

The questions are often unanswered. Why are there orphans? Why is it so hard to get them into families? Where the people who will stand up for what are is right? For justice? Why are families broken up? These are the big questions that you have struggle with- the questions that don’t have answers right now.

So my darling girl, I pray that you will live the questions. Never be satisfied with easy answers. Live in the tension of the now and the not yet kingdom. Keep asking the questions. The answers will come some day and on that day, all things will be made right. Keep your passion for what is true and right. Never lose hope.

Written for my friend Sarah's Practices of Parenting carnival.  Click on the Emerging Mummy link on my sidebar to see what other people have written on this topic.

Now is the winter of our discontent....

Yes, I know this quote from Richard the III is taken out of context here....but it is so freaking cold.  I may have mentioned a time or two or three or four......or more how much I hate the cold.  Hate really isn't even a strong enough word.  The cold here makes me want to cry.  It makes me feel upset and miserable and vulnerable.  It makes me not want to go out...ever.
We returned to school last week after five weeks of break.  The school heat had been off for five weeks....oh my!  We have these air conditioner/heater combo things in our classrooms called "kongtiaos."  They are actually pretty effective when the radiator heat goes down.  But after five week of cold, it took some time before the classroom warmed up. 
I have some fun things going on in the international school this semester.  My sixth grader is working on an autobiography project that is fun to watch progress.  My seventh graders are smart and really progressing in their English.  My eighth grader went back to her home country so I don't have an eighth grader. 
I started a charity knitting service project with the middle schoolers.  12 students signed up.  Pray for me next Friday as I try to teach them all to knit.  We will be knitting squares that will  be sewn together for blankets for one of the foster care homes here.  I've taught knitting before so it's a fun project all around.
Things have been relatively quiet hence the lack of blogging.  Elisabeth had an amazing time in the Philippines and wants to go back next summer and work in their teen home.  Our little guy spent some time at his ayi's apartment as we needed a break.  Taking care of a special needs little guy is exhausting. He isn't quite walking yet and still needs to be carried quite a bit.  He is very mobile with crawling and needs to be watched all the time.  Thankfully, he is still sweet and fun and a good sleeper.
Over the break, I read a book of the break on Quaker silence.  It was challenging to me as I feel that my life is full of noise.  Not just the noise of China but other noise- the internet for example. I feel challenged to look for more expectant stillness in my life.
Of course, we still have the unusual stuff in our life.
For example, Paul came home two days ago looking like this.

Yes- fire cupping.  This is about three days after it was done. It's supposed to draw out toxins. Hot glasses are put in the skin and left there for a while.   I asked Paul if he felt healthier and he said no.  At least he was game for one more cross cultural experience!