North Korea-there are kids swimming in the river and a small ferris wheel in the background that is rarely used.
We live a few hours from the North Korean border and we've always meant to go to DanDong- a small city across the river from NK. So over the weekend, we got on the long distance bus and took a quick trip there. We rode for about three hours through beautiful mountains and arrived in DanDong in the afternoon. Dan Dong is a small on the Yalu River. It has an active water front with lots of dancers, singers, tourist type attractions and some historical sites. It is across from an NK city called Sinujui which looked mostly like not very active factories to us. You can walk across the China-Korea friendship bridge and enter North Korea (if you have a visa) or go to the end of the broken bridge and see North Korea up close. You can also go on a boat ride that brings you close to the other side of the river where you can see workers in the factories. We saw young boys swimming in the river and several people on the banks waved at the boats. There are some boat patrols but it looks pretty much like just a river...except it's not. As you go up the river, you begin to see more cameras, boat patrols and towers on the NK side. The river is fairly wide and at this part, it would be nearly impossible to get across undetected.
The factories and the bridge-that was about all there was to see. We walked up and down the water front, had dinner and then went on a boat cruise.
Chinese Fishing boat-see how close it is to the NK border? That white building is NK!
As night fell, Dan Dong lit up and North Korea went black. Electricity is turned off in most places and this was true of the city across from us. The contrast was pretty stark, especially from the boat.
Dan Dong at dusk.
One of the things that was saw that was oddly moving was the lighting of lanterns. Basically, red paper lanterns are made. Blessings are written on the lanterns and then they are lit and they fly across the river into North Korea. You could see many lights in the sky flying there. They are not purposefully sending the lanterns there-it is the direction of the wind that brings them there. But seeing the light of the lanterns flying into the darkness of North Korea was quite compelling.
Here are a few "English Awesomes" that Elisabeth caught with her phone.
On the subway in Shenyang. There are many spelling exceptions in English but double "e"s in this word is not one of them!
The "l" sound is a hard one to say....but the spelling remains!
Little scenes to buy.
Me, too.
On the North Korea tour boat.
Not an English Awesome but an awesome white guy dressed up in Korean clothes...that is North Korea in the background. He tried to get us to dress up too but we mightily resisted...as we do at every tourist site!
"Can I get an Amen?"...or a Peace Out? Or "I am two."
So we are in the final stages of moving back to America. Elisabeth and I leave in just over a week and will land in the San Francisco area. Paul flies a few days later as he has some things to finish up. We are keeping our little guy with us until the very end then he will go to his ayi for about a year...we hope no longer.
It is excruciating to leave him but we do have great peace about his future. That makes all the difference.
After landing in the US,we will spend some time with family. Then Elisabeth will fly up to Portland to spend two weeks a teen re-entry camp with kids from all over the world. Paul and I will go to Central California to spend about a week at a re-entry de-brief. Then we will drive up to our new city just over the river from Portland and begin to weave a new life.
So why re-entry camps and de-briefs? Well, for many reasons. There is no way you can live in another country and come back the same. You come to another country anticipating change. But when you go back, you are going to a place that is the same, yet different. There are issues of grief and loss to deal with. For us, we are leaving a place that we love, leaving a child that we love and getting ready to be empty nesters. Plus, even though we are from the West Coast, before coming to China we lived in the MidWest for 12 years. All huge changes. Sometimes things that feel familiar can be stressful-the internet makes the world smaller but there are still movies, TV shows, cultural things that we don't know about. We are coming back in an election year....and not looking forward to all that negatives advertising and issues that goes with that!
China is the third country that we have lived in. We lived in Germany for a few years in the1980's. It was magic- no kids, two income and no debt. We traveled, worked and just really enjoyed our time there. We also lived in the deep South- outside of Savannah, Georgia. That was our hardest cultural adaptation- so close but not quite the same as where we lived in California. That sense of the familiar but not quite familiar can be disorienting.
We came back from Germany with two paychecks and no jobs. Paul went back to school and I went to work. Now we are coming back with a kid in college, financial obligations and all that comes with adulthood. We will need to buy a car...and at some point another car. It feels massively expensive to come back to the US. Fortunately we have a house to stay in until we find another. That is a huge relief.
So re-entry programs help you deal with loss, grief and re-adaptation. We need to grieve well so that we can move on. It's an emotional time for us.
A few months ago I hosted the foster care get-together for the foster moms and dads. It was a relatively small gathering and very enjoyable. So even though we are emptying out our apartment, I agreed to host another gathering.
This time, about 30 or more people gathered-children and adult. We had foster moms, foster dads, foster kids, caregivers and a few more people. The children played, the adults talked and prayed. It was a good morning. It's amazing to see these families break out of cultural and social norms to care for these children. The concept of blood and family is strong here- caring for someone outside of that circle is rare. The true love of these families for truly high need children is amazing to see. Many of these children will not be adopted as their medical issues are high. They need families like these to foster them in order to live and thrive.
Caregiver to child ration was pretty good!
The heartbreaking-this little guy has undefined issues...and even an undefined age.
I think she has cerebral palsy.
These two littel guys are so sweet-one handed out candy and the other played with trains all morning.
Some have autism.
Some were exhausted!
This liitle guy was happy to have a lollipop!
This liittle guy is really dexterous despite hand malformations!
The "I like attention kid!"
Dr. Eva talked.
The moms listened to other's stories.
Our ayi with our little guy, our foster care liaison and a German nurse who has fostered three children.
This woman talked about the amazing changes in her family that having a foster child in her has brought about.
Lots of listening.
Loving feeding of a new guy recently brought to an orphanage in another city. He has cerebral palsy.
The child care giver and another little cutie with Down Syndrome.
Our friends took us out for dinner last night. Some of our Columbia friends may recognize the woman second from the end Paul's left.
We got gifts of traditional DongBei fabric.
Our friend, Hongwen. We have known her since about 2002!
The fish with imaginative eyes.
Shrimp and mushrooms and more.
Jiaozi with orange skins (from carrots)
Rick Warren came to China again and took a call at our house.
We took the little guy on a walk by the river near our house. We ran into a friend who took this picture I love it! I can't tell you how many startled looks we get in public when we are out with him. People don't know if he is ours, adopted, or our grandchild. It's even funnier when Elisabeth is with us as people can't figure out if maybe she is the mother!
Again with his beloved ayi-can you see the love between them?
Paul just took the HSK- Hanyu Shuiping Kaoshi. This woman was his teacher and tutor. She was also my speaking teacher when I was at Dong Bei Da Xue. She is fantastic.
Finally- the boxes. The shipping company sent three men to drop off 14 empty boxes and to confirm that we did not have an elevator in our building. We live on the sixth floor of our six floor building. You need seven floors for an elevator. So we do a lot of stairs.
After the boxes were packed, they sent one man back for the boxes. One- for 14 fully packed 30 kg boxes. After some phone calling, another guy came and the boxes went off to Qingdao to get on the boat!
We are hoping they will join us in the US in about 50 days.
When Elisabeth was about three, I was reading her the story of Hannah taking Samuel up to the temple. If you don't know the story (found in the Old Testament book of 1 Samuel 1:1 - 2: 10), Hannah suffers through many years of childlessness. She prays and promises God that she would dedicate a child to Him if he would just give her a child. She conceives and has Samuel. She keeps him for three years and then brought him to the temple to be brought up by Eli the priest....not exactly a model parent.
As I read this story to Elisabeth, I suddenly understood exactly what Hannah had done...she brought her three year old to the temple to be brought up by a less than stellar parent...and she would only see him once a year. Her three year old.
My heart clutched as I looked at my three year old....could I trust God with her life? Could I do what Hannah had done?
Now my three year old is 18 and is less than 100 days away from starting college, as she likes to remind me. Can I trust God with her life? Can I even trust that she will get out of bed on time to make it to her first class at 9:30? Can I trust that she will make it to the cafeteria to eat? That she will study? Make it to church on Sunday? Grow in her walk with the Lord? Can I trust that God will be faithful to her...no matter what?
Now we have our little guy. We have two weeks left with him. The tears are flowing pretty often for me. Can we trust God with his future? He is two and a half...and wonderfully alive. If his adoptability status hadn't changed and his future was to be in an institution rather than with a family, would I still trust God and say that He is good? I want to say with Habbakuk
Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18
yet I will rejoice in theLord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
Habbakuk 3: 17 - 18
I want to say this...but it would be a struggle.
If there is any thing that I know about God, it is that He is faithful and that His faithfulness depends on His character, not mine. Despite my lack of faith that our little guy could ever be adopted, despite anxiety about our daughter going away to college...He is faithful.
I can say this with Isaiah
But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. 2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. 3 For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
Isaiah 43. 1 -3
I believe that God will be with them...both of them for the rest of their days. For these children, I prayed.
When our little guy first came to our home, we used to sing this over him.
