On boxes and stuff.

We are deep in moving mode now.  Most of our furniture has been sold and making its way to new homes.  Our boxes from Seven Seas World Wide shipping have arrived and we are determining what goes in them and what doesn't.  Apparently Chinese books have great priority.  Our plane tickets are purchased, our de-brief plans are confirmed, and we have a house to stay in for a while.  I am uploading resumes and Paul is preparing for his new position.  We are saying good-bye to someone almost every day and that is very, very hard.

Our little guy is getting ready to go to stay with his ayi.  Of course he has no idea what that means and it is tearing us up.  We are so thankful that we are leaving here with his future settled.  It gives us great peace to know that he has a  secure future ahead of him.

China has no official foster care system.  Foster care is done through orphanages or charitable organizations. We have received no renumeration for our care for him-it has come from our own resources and the kindness of people in our local community.

Currently there are no funds available in our foster care charity to pay our Chinese helper to care for our little guy for the year or so until his family arrives.  It's not a high salary by any means but his expenses and her salary add up to too much for us to carry alone. People often think that China is cheap and in some ways it is.  But inflation is rampant and costs are going up.  Diapers alone are about $50.00 a month.

So many people have loved and cared for our sweet baby and we are so thankful.  Would you consider helping us care for him until his family comes?  Small amounts add up to big amounts.

You can click on the paypal link below and I can guarantee that 100% of what is given will go to his care.  It's hard for us to ask, but we need to be sure he is well cared for.  Thank you so much.
If paypal isn't a good way for you to donate, e-mail me at the e-mail in my profile and I will give you another way to give.  Thanks!

If the link doesn't work,  my paypal is Sandyf61@yahoo.com.  Thanks!
 

Toddler Wrangling.

Paul had to travel to another country for a few days so we sent the little guy to his ayi's while he was gone.  That gave me an opportunity to sort through some things and get a little break.  He is a super fun little guy but  six days of solo care would have been too much for me.
So we got him back yesterday, sweet as ever.  Here was his day today.

Up at 6 AM for breakfast of scrambled eggs.  Wait until big sister wakes up so he could bug her.

Trying to prepare for her tutoring job with an audience.

But the book has to go up high.

Trying to check e-mail...if you look at her mouth you an see she is saying "Noooo'

Computer out of danger...he is obsessed with trying to get the computer.

He crawls all over the place. See his cute haircut?

  

Getting up on the couch-this is such major progress for this little guy!

Talking on the phone to his friend, the recording that says "please hang up and dial again."

A little break to read the daily devotional "My Utmost for His Highest."

Break with his favorite blanket and a little texting with my cell phone.

Now for some magazine reading/ripping.

Down off the bed...

Off down the hall.

Lunch-noodles, cherry tomatoes, banana and peanut butter smoothie.

Looking at his cards.

3 hour nap!  Yay for both of us!  He is a deep and hard sleeper.  We have changed his diapers while he has been asleep and he doesn't wake up.

Practicing for soccer by kicking paper.

Off to the market with Mama and Baba. Yes, we do walk through traffic!  It's the only way.

His favorite gate guards- they love him too.

Jie Jie was forced into hard labor- she had to make crumb muffins to go with the chicken and salad  for dinner.  Please notice the C and H brown sugar- heaven!

A little crying time with Baba since he closed a door on his hand.  It may sound strange but the crying because of pain is a huge step for him and we really make a big deal of comforting him when he cries.  It's common for children from orphanages to not cry when they are hurt as there isn't always someone to comfort them.  He needs to learn that crying is the right response for distress.

Brushing his teeth before bed.

A little milk and his bunny and then out like a light at 7 PM.

One of the hardest decisions we have ever made.

I've thought many times about how I would write this.  There is no right way.
A few days ago I emptied out a purse that has a zipper that needs to be fixed.  Out fell coins from the US, Canada, Thailand and China. In my wallet right now I have money from Korea, China and the US.  But it will all be turned in next month for American money as we have decided it is time to return to the US.
There is no crisis, no marital issue, no family issue, no security issue.  We just think it is time to be back there and provide a home for our daughter as she starts college and to be closer to our extended family.
We are sad because we love China and we love the people here and the work we are doing.  But we do believe that we have made the right decision.  We will be moving to the Pacific Northwest to do some similar work.
Our little guy will stay with his ayi until his family comes., hopefully within the year. He stays there often and it's the least stressful transition for him.   Leaving him, of course, is the hardest thing and the thing that makes me sob several times a day.  But there will never be an easy time to leave him and we have always known that his time with us was not forever.  But his impact on our lives is forever. What a privilege to be part of his story.  As his adoption gets closer, it's good not to blog much about him to preserve his and his new family's privacy. But rest assured- he has an amazing future ahead of him.  When he actually gets to his family, I'll let you know with out letting you know who or where he will be.
I started this blog as a way to keep our friends and family updated about our lives.  It took on somewhat of a life of its own as we got the sweet baby and used it to advocate for him.  I'll keep blogging here until we end up in the US and then I will open a new blog about some of the things that are important to me.
China is an amazing place.  It's loud and alive. There are things that make me nuts and things that I love.  As a family, we are so glad we came.  It's been a privilege to be here. We came to serve and to learn and I think we accomplished that.
We have about a month here, a few weeks of transition and then a new start.  Our life is about to change dramatically-we won't be in China, we won't have our sweet baby and our daughter will start college.  Those are all things that involve grief and loss as well as joy.  Transitions are hard and this one has a lot of pain in it for us. We are excited about the next but right now we are deep in the losses.  We need to walk through the sadness before we can move on.
 Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

And she graduates......

Somehow we blinked and Elisabeth grew up and graduated from high school.  Our night started with dinner at the Sheraton.  Then each of the dad's stood up and talked to their sons or daughter in whatever language they chose.  It was very, very moving to hear the tenderness and love in the voices of these father's.

Trying not to choke up as her dad talked about her love for our little guy and for letting him into her life.

Each graduate got a class picture.

Many of our friends came.

Elisabeth really wanted our little guy to be there so he came too. He peed on me during the ceremony- poor diapering technique on our part!

They entered through the back to the traditional music.

and after speeches and getting their diploma's....they were actual high school graduates!

The yellow ribbon is for the National Honor Society and the medal is for the Honor Roll.

It was a good day...a Genesis moment for Elisabeth..and for us.

Sure, we are normal!

After the school play, the costumes needed to be washed.  These clothes were gorgeous- beautifully made from curtain fabric.  They also were heavy and because they were long, had to be washed one by one in our Chinese style washer.  They then were hung on our drying balcony.  I do sometimes wonder what our neighbors think...or maybe I don't want to know.

Our little guy desperately wants to go outside all!the!time!  So he put on a winter hat and got his shoes.  He is wearing his pajamas.  The funny thing is that I could have taken him out and no one would have even blinked!

Some of our favorite things- knitting and talking on the toy cell phone.  He loves cell phones and loves to pretend text and call.  I have many contacts in my phone with names like Xd7h or other randomness.

Yes, we like each other!

I love him!  Look at that face!

Studying for the HSK- Chinese proficiency test.

Apparently true love means you have to match.  This is his beloved ayi and the match was totally random.

Dancing with the (Chinese) Stars.

Slacker toddler

May you be blessed, Margaret Cho

Dear Margaret Cho,
I've never watched your comedy routines because they seem born out of sadness and anger and that doesn't appeal to me.  Because we don't live in the US, we don't get the 24 news cycle of who said what and did what and so on and I don't miss that.  But today a friend sent me a link where I read that you had said something along the lines of not wanting a baby at your age because you don't want a "retard."
And so, Margaret Cho, as the foster mother of a little boy that many people would consider a "retard"  because of his Down Syndrome, I wish for you some things.
Most of all, may you be blessed.  May you be blessed with a little boy that wakes up every day happy and enthusiastic to greet the day.  May you be blessed with a little boy who waves goodbye and blows kisses from his crib when it's time to go to sleep at night.  May you blessed with a little boy who sleep with his cute little but in the air.  May you be blessed with a little boy who wears footie pajamas with dinosaurs on them.
May you be blessed with a little boy who can't walk  alone at 2 and half because of some low muscle tone.  May you be blessed to hold his hand as he practices walking.  May you be blessed as you watch him speed crawl on the ground.  May you be blessed as you bounce him on a ball to increase his muscle tone so that he will walk.
May you blessed as many people in our community are as we walk around and he waves and says hi to everyone.  May you be blessed by a community of people who enthusiastically ask about your little boy and clap and cheer his every step.
May you be blessed by a little boy that likes to play tiger and put up his "claws" and roar.  May you be blessed as he plays with his stuffed animals tenderly and wraps them in blankets and rocks them.  May you be blessed as he sings and claps to music.
May you be blessed as he plays cars and trains and throws balls.  May you be blessed as he screams his head off during a bath.  May you be blessed as he throws food on the ground from his high chair. May you be blessed as he pulls your hair...hard.
May you be blessed by the sweetness that pours out of this little boy and the open heart of love that he has.
Maybe you be blessed as you look at this little boy at night and know how lucky you are to have him...for us just a few years until he goes to his forever family.
May you be blessed Margaret Cho and may you learn from this experience that words are never just words and that labels hurt and destroy. May you be blessed.

18 years of waking my daughter up.

Wednesday was the last day of actual high school for Elisabeth.  Finals are finished and grades are complete.  Yesterday she took off on a 30 hour train for Xi'An with the high school.  She comes back next Tuesday, has a half day at school on Wednesday and then graduates at the Sheraton on Wednesday night.
It occurred to me on Wednesday that it was my last day of waking her up for school.  Let me just say "Hallelujah."  Elisabeth has never been an early riser.  Even when she was a baby, she slept late (take note, Mr. 5 AM riser foster son).  Every day is pressing and prodding and often raised voices. Not fun.
The other day, we sent Mr. Early Riser to wake her up.  You can see how successful that was.

Cute though he is and despite mutual love, he was not enthusiastically received as an alarm clock (I have no idea why he was drinking water in her bed).

I've told her that in college, she can not sign up for early classes.  There will be no long distance phone calls to get her out of bed.