Down Syndrome Awareness month

I am blogging today at my new blog -an update on our little guy
http://weavinganewlife.blogspot.com/2012/10/how-he-changed-our-life.html

Blogging at the new place today.

I am blogging on grief at my new blog today.
http://weavinganewlife.blogspot.com/2012/08/grief.html

Places of Peace and Beauty

On our last day on the coast we went again out to a lighthouse.  We drove through swirling fog out to the Cape Meares Lighthouse and took a short walk down to the edge of the cliff

The views were spectacular...

as was the lighthouse.

View from the other side of the cliff.

The next day, we got up, drove through the Tillamook Forest through Portland, across the Columbia River and into our new life in Washington.  We got Elisabeth from her TCK camp at Multnomah on Friday and started to pull our live together.

Honestly, it's been hard.  It's hard to re -acclimate to what we know but don't know.  People have been gracious and kind but we are in a kind of in-between stage of our lives.  We are settling in but it just takes time. We have heard that it takes about 18 months to really re-adjust.

Today we got some unsettling news.  By "happenstance", I saw an ad for The Grotto in a tourism guide.  The Grotto is a Catholic Retreat and Prayer Grounds in Portland about 10 minutes from our home. So Elisabeth and I got in our borrowed van and drove over.  We both felt the need for some outdoor beauty in a peaceful place.

We sat in the chapel for a while and prayed.

We walked and saw beautiful gardens with trees, bushes and flowers.

We took this very odd elevator to the top gardens.

Most of the statues were very oriented towards Mary the mother of Jesus.  As a non-Catholic, they didn't have a strong meaning for me.  But some of the others, such as the above, were quite beautiful and well done.

I am finding these times of quiet and peace more and more necessary in my life, especially in these times of readjustment.

Middle Aged People on a little vacation.

We are slowly meandering up the coast of Oregon, breathing in its beauty.  Elisabeth is still at the TCK re-entry seminar in Portland so it's just the two of us...which is pretty fun.

We stopped for lunch at this beautiful little inlet.

There were many, many crab....cages? traps?  What are they called?

We went to a place called Devil's Churn in Cape Perpetua.  Where did I learn about Devil's Churn?  Pinterest!  I saw a picture  of it and looked it up.

The water rushes into the little cove really fast and furious.

It churns....like the devil!  It was really fun to watch.

We stopped overnight in Lincoln and then drove up to Tillamook. We have a love for little museums so we stopped at the Tillamook Pioneer Museum.  There were plenty of pioneer artifacts but upstairs is the room of  things to scare your children to death with...seriously.  It was taxidermy heaven!

"Children, if you don't listen to me, you'll have to go behind the glass with the yak?  Buffalo?  and the polar bear and the bear....they will teach you how to behave."

Oh my....just wow!

Then we drove over to the Tillamook Cheese factory where we saw loaves of cheese being packaged...the two pound loaf and the smaller one.  They were being cut right about here.

All the workers had these funny t-shirts on and they were friendly and waved at the people gawking at them from above.

They also had fantastic ice cream.

We headed over to hike up to a beautiful little waterfall (only 1/4 mile so didn't work off the ice cream).  These are salmon berries.  I've never seen salmon berries or heard of them.  I just heard a girl on the trail say they were salmon berries and either she is right or she was showing off to the boy she was with.  He ate one and seemed okay.

The waterfall..that is as close as you can get.  It was stunning.

The moss on the trees was incredible-like being in a dinosaur movie.

Paul on the trail.

Tonight is our last night of our trip. We are going out for crab and then to a headlands that has a lighthouse.  We will have a beautiful drive back, stop off at Multnomah to bring Elisabeth a belt for her dress that she needs for her banquet on Thursday.  Then we will cross the Columbia to Vancouver....and start figuring out our new life.

New blog

I'll still be blogging at Walking to China for a while, especially as I hear about our sweet little guy.  We did hear that he is walking even better and can hold up three fingers when asked how old he is....he is three in China even though he is 2.5 in America.
But for a while I've wanted to do a more reflective blog about some things that matter to me.
Here is the link.  http://weavinganewlife.blogspot.com/   I've just begun but I love to have some followers.

Where we have been the last few weeks.

Elisabeth and I flew from Shenyang to Korea to San Francisco about two weeks ago.  She was so sick on the plane, I was afraid we'd be quarantined. The day after we arrived, we went to the Palo Alto Urgent Care  Clinic where she was diagnosed with strep throat and an ear infection.  To quote the doctor "Wow, that's a lot of pus in your ear" and "Wow, that's a lot of pus in your throat."  They gave her an ibuprofen shot to ease her pain and put her on anti-biotics and prescription pain meds.  It's been a slow recovery for her.  I don't think I have ever seen her so sick.  So if you flew from Korea to San Francisco a few weeks ago and got sick...so, so sorry. I didn't know.
So our first week in the US was pretty quiet. We rested, bought some books and saw some friends. We also went to an advising seminar for Elisabeth and she signed up for her first quarter classes. Paul flew in on Friday. Saturday we put Elisabeth on a plane for Portland where she is currently attending a re-entry seminar for third culture kids about the start college.  Sunday night, Paul and I drove to Fresno where we spent five days doing our own re-entry seminar.
It was five days of doing hard soul work.  We talked about China, our sweet little guy, Elisabeth, expectations for the future and more. We talked a lot of about grief and how to grieve well. The grief of not having our little guy is our life is powerful and overwhelming.  As much as I have written about him, I just can't write about this.  It feels sacred and private.  We have grief..and we have peace.
The time there was very good and the people were very kind, helpful and gentle.  It was well worth the time.

We also drove up to Kings Canyon and Sequoia National Park. I don't even have words for how beautiful it was.

When we were finished at Linkcare, we drove to Sacramento to see dear friends that we have known....forever!  It was fun and refreshing to see them and I hope that now we will be on the West Coast, we will see them more often.

Today we drove from Sacramento to Crescent City, Ca. Look on a map to see how far that is.  We will continue up to coast tomorrow and get to our new place outside of Portland later this week. The drive today was also spectacularly beautiful- golden hills, to fir trees to ocean, to ferns to....well, here are the pictures.

Rest stop outside of Humboldt, CA

Patrick's Point.  I camped here 30 years ago.

Volcanic Rock formations at Patrick's Point.

Wild waves and beautfiul sunny skies.

Ferns.

Crescent City volcanic rocks in the ocean.

The Lighthouse Keeper feeding Jonathan Livingstone Seagull (All my friends who grew up in the 70's know who that is!)

The Lighthouse where the Lighthouse keeper lives.  I want to live here, see whales, feed gulls and occasionally talk to visitors.  It's my new life goal!  It's spectacular.

Tomorrow- the Oregon Coast.

Things we (and others) say in China that we don't say in America.

*I have to put more money on my phone.
*Do you want to bike or taxi?
*I am going to Beihang-do you need butter?
*There is cheese at Metro-do you want some?
*That is so much mafan (Trouble).
*I am going to be late to school because we have to register at the PSB (police security bureau).
*  I am going to late to school because I have to go the visa office.
*  _______is going to be late to school because he is flying in from Korea.
* School is closed because a. no water. b. no electricity. c. no heat.
*Are you going to Thailand for Chinese New Year?
* Can you ask the ayi to make tortillas?
*  Shen me? (What?)
*  Ting bu dong. (Don't understand)
*Can you call driver Ji to take us to the orphanage for vaccinations/ DeJi Hospital for the orphan care clinic or the airport?
* How much was that?
*Can you make that a little cheaper?
* Can you get me a straw for the yogurt?
*I don't feel well- can you go to the pharmacy and get me some anti-biotics?
*  You are going to Thailand?  Can you get me (what ever medicine is unavailable in China).
*Where is fellowship this week?
*I am going to Beijing for the weekend.
* I've all ready been to the Great Wall.
*What tone is that?
*I can read 3 out of 5 characters on that sign.
*What's the security code to get in your apartment building.
*On a cell phone to a friend with better Chinese "Can you tell the taxi driver how to get there?"
*Let's have Chun Bing for dinner!

Love Wins

I was riding my bike from Kitchen Street today with a new wok to take to the US.  It's our last day in China it felt really good to ride through the streets one last time.  I was thinking about our little guy while I was riding.  The painful reality is that we don't have him anymore.  On Thursday, we packed up our friend's van with all of his stuff and took him to live with his ayi.  He looked quite puzzled as we pulled up and took his stuff in but his face lit up when he saw his shu shu (uncle).  That comforted me. We said our good-byes and left quickly. I totally broke down in the van and the tears have been flowing pretty freely. We will see him again tomorrow as he is coming to the airport.  At first I thought that was not a good idea but now I am so glad to see him again one more time.  My grief is so deep that I really can't even write about it.
When I woke up on Thursday, I thought-today your future begins. There is truth to that. His paperwork is getting done.  Things are moving forward.  We are leaving China with a sense of peace about his future. The day we found out about Paul's future position in the Pacific NW was the same day that we found out that the orphanage would allow him to be adopted.  That felt amazing!
Having this little guy in our life has been amazing.  But there has been a cost. Things that are valuable have a  cost. My life in particular has been rather circumscribed.  I spend a lot of time at home with him rather than out in the city.  My Chinese level is lower than it should be.   Our little guy is a special needs little guy-he needs supervision all the time.  He can't really walk yet and at 2.5 he is a little chunk to haul around. My back may never recover! We have paid in time, money and the focus of our work in China.  We worry that we haven't accomplished all that we set out to do here.  Yes, there is a cost.
There is also great joy.  We were looking back over past posts today to gather some pictures for a photo album that we will give him. We remembered the skinny little guy who came to us two years ago so dehydrated that he couldn't make tears.  He was bitten by a mosquito one of the first nights he was here and his immune system was so compromised that it took three weeks for the bites to heal.
But slowly he grew.  Round the clock feeding at the beginning.  One of his pediatricians told me that he was was an "unregulated baby."  That really resonated with me and I put him on a sleep and eating routine.  He gained weight pretty quickly and after a bout with pneumonia that landed him in the hospital, he began to get healthy.
We prayed for the milestones- turning over, sitting, self-feeding, holding his own bottle, standing. We prayed that he would walk before we left China and the morning that he left, he took steps back and forth between Paul and I.  That was a major moment.
For the last two years, we have been Mama and Baba. In his future there is a Mom and a Dad or a Mommy and Daddy.  Love wins for this little boy!
Our little guy is just one of so, so many who need families.  He is no more or less deserving than any of them to be going to a family. We are so, so thankful.
So love, joy, cost, sacrifice.  Was it worth it?

You bet it was!  Love wins!

28 years.

We sold the rest of our furniture this morning and spent the rest of the day packing and sorting.  It's our anniversary tomorrow so we went to the Shenyang TV Tower for dinner.

We biked over to the Tower, bought the 70 RMB tickets (the view and dinner) and took the elevator to the top.

It was a pretty hazy day but in the foreground you can see the "Y" building...the letter "Y"  not the YMCA.

The Feng Yuan Building-this building is pretty amazing.  It's completely circular.

Looking towards our aparntments.  We can see that bridge from our windows.

The revolving restaurant.  During our dinner, it made it about a quarter turn around.

The chicken head in our chicken. Honestly, this was the worst food we have ever had in China.  We should have just gone to the street market.

It was fun to go up and fun to see our city from the top.  It was our 28 year anniversary and a great way to celebrate.

Once more...The Great Wall

On our second day in Dan Dong, we took a city bus up to the Tiger Mountain Portion of the Great Wall.  This small section of the Great Wall was restored in 1992 and it is really lovely. When you climb to the top, you can see the Yalu River and into North Korea.
When we first came to China in 2007, we went to a section of the Great Wall outside of Beijing.  When we first saw the Great Wall from our friend's hired car, I felt really overwhelmed.  It really is magnificent. The section of the Great Wall that we went to in 2007 was touristy and crawling with people.  It was first full day in China and we were exhausted.  It was amazing but overwhelming.
This Tiger Mountain portion of the Great Wall is quiet and surrounded by farms, mountains and villages.  It was a lovely way to end our time in China.

Yes....that small building is what we walked up to.

About halfway there.

Beautiful greenness -refreshing since we live in a grey city of 8 million people and very little green.

Paul coming up the steep and uneven steps.

Me going down the steep and uneven steps.  

Different view of the same halfway point.

Elisabeth sitting in one of the windows.

View from the not-quite top.

View of China from the top...and part of North Korea.

View of North Korea from the top.

One more mystery in China....the willingness of people to all where the same outfit and follow tour guides.  There were masses of these people in turquoise shirts.  The umbrellas are no mystery to me-it is hot here and the sun umbrellas really do make a difference.

This was the third part of the Great Wall for us...I think it may have been my favorite.