Love Wins

I was riding my bike from Kitchen Street today with a new wok to take to the US.  It's our last day in China it felt really good to ride through the streets one last time.  I was thinking about our little guy while I was riding.  The painful reality is that we don't have him anymore.  On Thursday, we packed up our friend's van with all of his stuff and took him to live with his ayi.  He looked quite puzzled as we pulled up and took his stuff in but his face lit up when he saw his shu shu (uncle).  That comforted me. We said our good-byes and left quickly. I totally broke down in the van and the tears have been flowing pretty freely. We will see him again tomorrow as he is coming to the airport.  At first I thought that was not a good idea but now I am so glad to see him again one more time.  My grief is so deep that I really can't even write about it.
When I woke up on Thursday, I thought-today your future begins. There is truth to that. His paperwork is getting done.  Things are moving forward.  We are leaving China with a sense of peace about his future. The day we found out about Paul's future position in the Pacific NW was the same day that we found out that the orphanage would allow him to be adopted.  That felt amazing!
Having this little guy in our life has been amazing.  But there has been a cost. Things that are valuable have a  cost. My life in particular has been rather circumscribed.  I spend a lot of time at home with him rather than out in the city.  My Chinese level is lower than it should be.   Our little guy is a special needs little guy-he needs supervision all the time.  He can't really walk yet and at 2.5 he is a little chunk to haul around. My back may never recover! We have paid in time, money and the focus of our work in China.  We worry that we haven't accomplished all that we set out to do here.  Yes, there is a cost.
There is also great joy.  We were looking back over past posts today to gather some pictures for a photo album that we will give him. We remembered the skinny little guy who came to us two years ago so dehydrated that he couldn't make tears.  He was bitten by a mosquito one of the first nights he was here and his immune system was so compromised that it took three weeks for the bites to heal.
But slowly he grew.  Round the clock feeding at the beginning.  One of his pediatricians told me that he was was an "unregulated baby."  That really resonated with me and I put him on a sleep and eating routine.  He gained weight pretty quickly and after a bout with pneumonia that landed him in the hospital, he began to get healthy.
We prayed for the milestones- turning over, sitting, self-feeding, holding his own bottle, standing. We prayed that he would walk before we left China and the morning that he left, he took steps back and forth between Paul and I.  That was a major moment.
For the last two years, we have been Mama and Baba. In his future there is a Mom and a Dad or a Mommy and Daddy.  Love wins for this little boy!
Our little guy is just one of so, so many who need families.  He is no more or less deserving than any of them to be going to a family. We are so, so thankful.
So love, joy, cost, sacrifice.  Was it worth it?

You bet it was!  Love wins!